There is the constant murmur of voices and beeps going on day through night continuously, flashes of temper, laughter, doctors, nurses, cardiologists, cleaners, staff who deliver meals, patient younger than me circumambulating the cardiac department like a holy man on a mission. There are prayers silently chanted , Jesus morphs into Buddha , Sufi songs of praise, the Guru is here somewhere. Heart sutra is chanted, Nepalese nurse talks about the great stupa in Kathmandu and the prayers that wander through the alleys and streets at night with Om Mani Padme Hum . I dread the angiogram but it turns out all right but no stent put in and heart sutra is a heart sutra attack. Tomorrow I’m told they are going to put stent in ; I fear it is short gap for open heart surgery. I feel reflective, sad and sometimes happy , something falls off my chest , bells and whistles going off like at Tigers Peak with monks dancing. You know this life is the same coin as death . Like Charlie Chaplin in Limelight , life a slapstick affair , and then the curtain comes down and you are dissolved into the great light. The light though is not friendly or angry it’s just light and you see your whole life second by second of seventy years put under the microscope. You cannot hide it details every ugly and beautiful moment , every moment of anger , every moment of happiness, the secrets you have held , the light sees all and then in a flash you are gone like in Interstellar. I know this journey on earth will end , when I can’t tell and then another journey will begin where you finally come home as a piece of stardust . Life begins again perhaps like Groundhog Day but maybe this time you can change and not make the same mistakes as last time , or maybe you are like mouse on the wheel of samsara going round and round in the circle game .